At. Last.

Acorns dropped from the trees. Thuds without rhythm, without intent, only falling with the winds assistance. Lacking grace, but confident in stride I step through the woods. My feet crackle the autumn leaves, twigs, and by an unavoidable meeting of the fates – a slug. These woods are perfect.

A golden light makes his way in-between the blushing leaves, warming beneath the canopy. From the road, I glanced to this secluded bit of woods, and with instinct turned towards her. She is leaning back against the steep incline. Both fighting the pull of gravity from above, and the force of hillside below. Why was no other sneaking asylum under her branching reach? How could it be possible that only I was inclined to lean against her ancient trunk? My head fell back, resting against the rough bark and I exhaled. The day was gone.

The building fear was gone.

          The swelling exhaustion was gone.

                           The tightening knot of no release - was gone.

I was alone. Only the thudding of the acorns, and the magpies calling, stopped the perfect silence. Wind flushed my too-long bangs over my eyelids, and tickled my nose. From the road, waiting for the sixth car to pass I had seen this spot, but from here there was no road. There were no cars and there was no one out there looking for asylum. My shoulders loosened, my back curved, and my lips did both. The golden light was flittering between the leaves and I knew they had been found.

The loss of words is no easy challenge for one who writes. Time passes swiftly, the last grain of sand passing as soon as the first. Each grain hitting the next as they shoot though the vertical passage, gaining speed. 

How quick the turner turns and then time is gone. First one turn, then the second, third, fourth, a day, a week, a month, and the words are even harder to recall. The story is lost, shadowed by a darkening mist encroaching on the foundations of your story, your words.

You sit in effort. A long awaited moment of time just for yourself. Hands ready for the usual, golden warmth to flow from mind to fingers, but it does not come. How much time has passed? How many turns? No light can puncture that mist, it is a nagging and cloudy fortress. Notes are no good, the words are choppy and weak, and even the persistent pen feels cumbersome. But, even now when your mind and materials seem against you, you know what you need. You always know what you need.

Acorns dropped from the trees. My back pressed into the trunk. A blushing warmth touched my cheek, and between the blinking of my eyelashes, I saw that golden light return.   

xx, kristin

CRAZY Days

It has been so crazy here over the last few days. In the short span of a week, so many things have happened, changed and exploded. It is unbelievable that only one week has passed since arriving here in London.

First of all I went from:

• Eternally grateful to the Adam's family for taking both Stacey and myself into there small bedroom upstairs.
• Freaked and stressed because I could not find a place to move in a decent amount of time, aka: the end of this coming week.
• Relieved, because Philippa set Stacey and I up with a friend with two bedrooms to rent in New Malden.
• Stressed again, because one room was very much smaller than the other - and one would have felt very guilty to get the larger room with a desk. 
• Eternally grateful to the Adam's family for suggesting I rent this room from them, without a contract, so that Stacey and I might continue looking for a flat without stress.

Then I learned that:

Myself in front of the Parliament Building,
just out of Waterloo Station and under the
shadow of the London Eye: 20, Sep. 2011

• I could still manage my way around central London.
• I still LOVE Harry Potter - getting to enjoy the last film on the largest Imax screen in all of Britain. (My fourth time seeing it, of course).
• My degree is going to kick my butt, and I have only been introduced to half of the course! (The other induction is tomorrow for Publishing). 
• I am still capable of making friends, even though I was practically on solitary confinement for the last year and a half. 
• Jet lag takes a long time to kill off.
• I can survive on little food during the day when stressed.
• I can survive on little sleep during the night when overwhelmed.
• The internet makes this world a very, very small place. 
• My writing style gives me strengths as a story builder.

Every night I go to bed after midnight. Every morning I get out of bed early to start my day. But I still keep trudging on with a smile, because I made it and I am following through on my goals. As long as you love what you are doing, you can afford to smile even in the most difficult parts of the journey.  

And this was my first week in London...

xx, kristin

Searching

I do not know what I expected from this looking for a flat business, but I do have two very firm facts:

1. I have not even been here a week.
2. I cannot do much about it on a Sunday, when everything is closed.

So why am I still stressing about this? There is other stuff I need to be doing, like reading Rebecca, but I cannot seem to move past the fact that I have yet to schedule one viewing. In this purgatory of finding a permanent flat, I know I am not alone. Constantly, I am running into others who are in the same situation -

So, why is this so hard? 

The Uni cannot offer much more help then linking me to the advice-ridden webpage, and sending me lists and lists of letting agencies - I've emailed them all this morning. It seems to me that I cannot do this without their assistance, yet others have done this before me and are doing it right now. And it is cheaper without them.

Ah well - time to try and relax and do something really productive. It is the first time I have ever actually searched for a flat, so my emotions towards it are to be expected I guess.

Maybe, I'll go for a walk. 

xx, Kristin

Adjusting: Part 2

It is 7am London time.

It is 2am in my brain.

I have been waking up every 15 or so minutes since 5am.

Midnight - in my brain.

The weight of everything is pushing me into a little ball of exhaustion and sickness. My throat is burning, my nose is hot and I am unable to fall into that deep, restoring sleep. While the reasons for its onslaught are many - change in climate, jetlag, running around / being run down, the city setting, the unconsidered and sudden change in diet - I cannot help but think it might have something to do with overwhelming stress.

Approximately 40 minutes ago, I gave up trying to sleep. I told myself that later in this day, between meetings and life I would find a spare moment to find the sleep I missed. Shortly after this, I found myself in the den, chowing down on a bag of crisps. I have never been a stress eater, but after the third small bag I considered it as a realistic option.

Earlier - or more correctly - Yesterday, I posted everything I was trying to accomplish in the next week. From the leisurely 10/11am - 5/6pm work week, I went right into the real world and, without armor. Now with classes looming one week form this Monday, my entier body is caving under the stress.

Though, presently as I sit in this quiet and dark home it seems that I am alone on the stress-caving emotion.

In the next week I need to find a place to live. I need too. I need it to settle down. To unpack. To feel like I have finally found a good resting point fo the end of the means. To begin my course on the right foot, with a private place to work. My own space. All my current work seems impossible to complete till I find this place. All playtime desires are shadowed by the lack of it's existence. I just want to read, write and illustrate - also, sleep.

Even in my weakest moments of stress eating - the salt of those crisps still on my lips - I cannot forget that I am lucky to have the Adam's family who not only took us in, but also continue to offer advice  on what we are looking for. I am lucky to have made it to this point, starting the next year of my life as a student in London. I do understand that there are many who wish for the same experience, and have not yet found the way to make it happen.

Watching the sun's light brighten the buildings across the street, I sat alone in the den and restored calm. A moment to just think, and breath. A silent corner to reflect on this moment, while the sky turned from navy to a pale blue.

I am lucky.

I am overwhelmed.

And that is just fine for now. 

xx, Kristin

Adjusting

Adjusting - or if you can call it that.

I have been so busy in the last couple days I do not even know how long I have been in Kingston. Socializing, starting a bank account, socializing, enrolling, dealing with small details of being a postgraduate student, socializing, trying to find a good cell plan, and socializing -It is no wonder I cannot keep track of the days. I am almost certain I have been here a month, surviving on peanut butter and toast.

I am certain it has been a month.

Although, that may also play into the part where I have been here before, making me comfortable and confident as I walk the streets - Still possible I get lost though. Knowing my way around has made the prior list much easier on my brain. I knew where the Lloyds bank was that - with some advice from new friends - I chose to open my account in. I knew where all the cell phone places where. Most importantly, I knew the short route between all those places and campus as I ran in circles with my head spinning today - Even if sometimes I forgot to use them.

Anyway onto what I have accomplished -

• I have enrolled into the University, getting my ID card and all that lovely official stuff.
• I have begun to complete my bank account at Lloyds for my loan money to be dropped into.
• I have begun research into cell phones, even thinking I have found the right plan for me. 
• I have finally glanced over my timetables.
• I have continued to search for flats, getting a few really decent options but more indecent ones. 
• I have met up with many of the people I found on facebook before coming to Uni and more. 
• I have taken a tour of Kingston - because I thought it would be fun... it was.

All I have left to accomplish -

• Actually finish of my bank account.
• Finish off the cell phone.
• Find a flat to live in - and hopefully soon.
• Get organized to for my courses.
• ACTUALLY GET INTO LONDON! This I might run off and do on my own, just to have a good, old fashioned moment. 

That is all I can think of anyway.

OH - on account that I am required to head to a pub down the street and continue socializing, this post will be completely and entirely unedited! Socializing Calls.

xx, kristin

I AM IN LONDON: The Edge of Night and Day

Over the last few days I have been on quite the adventure - slow and dull at times, but exciting also.

SPECIAL NOTE: In my rush to get this update to you all, I have not edited the following post. 

September 12, 2011:

• Made it to the airport 2 hours early have a filling meal at Smokey Bones. I had a delicious burger and it filled me for the entier flight to Boston and several hours later.

• Saying good bye to mom and dad was really hard - not helped by how much I dislike planes. I had a few panic attacks as I waited, only calmed by some hot tea and pretending I was at Stagecoach. 

• The plane was small and had propellors. It was terrifying. It was fast. 

• We landed in Boston, and I had to take a bus to the correct terminal. I called my parents after getting my boarding pass for Iceland. After going through security again, I found a restroom, found a sandwich shop, found a table and then ate. It was a three hour wait, where I read and ... read. 

• Boarded the plane, relaxed into my travel pillow and actually slept for the first few hours of the flight. It was in the last hour I could not fall back to sleep, and watched as the sun rose with a brillant red horizon. We landed, coming lower and lower over the ocean and buzzed over the flat land before the airport. There were very few houses scattered about the shoreline but many mountains in the distance. I am fairly certain I saw the volcanoes, but cannot say for sure because I am not well studied in the geography of Iceland.

September 13, 2011

• 9.5 Hours In Iceland: I got off the plane. I had tea and a scone - that my Mommy packed me. I found a comfy chair. I found a second comfy chair. I pulled them together. I slept. I slept on those two chairs, with my travel pillow for 6 hours. Then - I read. And - Ate a sandwich.

• Boarded the plane - 45 mins late - and got on my last flight for London. It was a very short flight compare to my day in Iceland, but beautiful. This time I was able to watch the sun set. The whole sky was a giant rainbow. Red on the horizon, then orange, then yellow, green, blue and a dark navy into the night with the small bright dots of the stars. As we flew on towards London, I began to notice something I'd never paid attention to before. A line across the sky - the edge of night and day. It was incredible to watch our plane fly into the night. Incredible. 

• Once in London, it was dark and we were welcomed by the bright orange lights of the city. After circling for about 20 minutes we finally landed, and I was picked up by a Kingston Uni official and brought home to Philippa's. 

• She had made the most delicious dinner - a real chef - and we caught up before I fell into bed. It was really wonderful to see her again, and as even John commented on, "It's like you never even left!" It does feel that way a bit, but I have changed much over the small bit of time that I had been gone. I am stronger, more confident, more sure of what I am after. Walking down these streets feels like being back in my second home again; They may not have changed in their paths but I have changed my own. 

My stamp from Iceland and a postcard to prove I spent
real-life time in their wonderfully designed airport. 

September 14, 2011

• Stacey and I meant to wake up early and get right to campus for enrollment, but we didn't. Around 11am we left the flat for Kingston and successfully made it without getting lost! I was quite excited about this, even remembering the back way to save us time. 

• At enrollment, we signed up for the health clinic, grabbed information on phones and waited. We waited for our orange designated color to be called, we waited to stand in the enrollment que, we waited in the enrollment que, we waited to have our credit checked and we wait to have our photos taken and printed onto our brand new id cards. It was probably between 3 and 4 hours of waiting, but not stressful because we had nothing else planned for our day but lunch.
• At enrollment, we managed to meet some new / cool people. Anna from Poland and Mike from Niagara Falls - small and big world at the same time. We went to the King's Tun pub and had some enlightening / wordily conversation that I had missed from both not being a student and not being in such a diverse place as London. 

• I had a Chicken Caesar Salad.

• We then got a few items from Boots - shampoo, toothpastes, etc - and Asda - bread, peanut butter and crackers. On the walk home we grabbed a newspaper to look for flats, but everything posted was for the central London area. I would love to say yes to that but that would be a long commute every morning, not to mention expensive monthly payments. I then spent the next several hours looking online for places with very little success. Philippa again treated and Stacey and I to dinner - a pasta dish with homemade sauce, delicious. She and John then provided us with good information on looking for a flat. We concluded we must get another paper and look around as we walk Kingston tomorrow - writing down all the let signs we see. 

Now I am getting ready for bed after another exhausting day. I believe I skipped right over jet lag, and went straight to - Can my bedtime be at 9pm? (That would be 4pm USA time). 

Sorry I delayed my post a bit,

xx, Kristin

Starting to Head Out

Today is the first step of leaving the country. 

Sometime this afternoon, I will head to Albany, NY with my parents and my sister. Tonight, and tomorrow, I will be spending time with my Nisky family - which will obviously be fun!

Monday is my flight. I leave a 4:55pm from Albany International Airport - which isn't really that international. As worrying about this little blog will be the last of my concerns, I will post my flight schedule again for those who would like to keep updated on my traveling:


Monday 12th toTuesday 13th:

• Leave: Sep. 12 @ 4:55pm - Albany, NY to Boston, MA 
• US Airways, Flight Number: 4792
• Leave: Sep. 12 @ 9:30pm - Boston, MA to Reykjavik, Iceland
• IcelandAir, Flight Number: 630
• Leave: Sep. 13 @ 4:10pm - Reykjavik, Iceland to London, England
• IcelandAir, Flight Number: 454
• Arrive: Sep. 13 @8:10pm (3:10pm on the east coast) - London, England. 
• Heathrow Terminal #1

So now the interested will know, my exact schedule - perfect. 

The soonest you will hear from me on my blog might possibly be on my 9.5 hour layover in Iceland. I have this grand idea of going out and seeing Reykjavik, taking pictures and then posting them ASAP. However, that will be hoping they let me out of the airport - let us all hope they let me out. 

If not, I will spend 9.5 hours entertaining myself in what I imagine to be a very small airport. In that case, I may post about how entertaining I can be for 9.5 hours trapped in an airport. 

Either way, the next time I post will be on foreign soil. 

Bon Voyage! - to myself... I suppose, haha.

Love you all,

xx, Kristin

Last Night

Quick Thought: It is my last night in this - my home - bed. 

Weird.

Countdown: 2 days


xx, kristin

Packing

Last night, I decided to pack.  

In fact I made it past midnight trying to find a home for everything in my suitcases. It was then I discovered I had plenty of room. I did not even need to use my space-bags. My only real concern remains to be the weight limit. The smaller, purple suitcase I delegated for shoes, jackets and sweaters seems like it could be a bit too heavy. I expect the charges could be quite large when I go through the airport check-in, but there are really few options. AND to be perfectly honest, there are so many more shoes and jackets I could bring - so, they should thank me, haha!

The reason for my desperate need to start packing last night came with the realization that while I do not leave the country until Monday, I do leave Cooperstown on Saturday afternoon. Between today and Saturday however, I have many last minute plans to say goodbye and to spend time with my parents. Today, I will be having lunch with Eric at Bocca - which is delicious. Today is also my Mom's birthday, so tonight we will be having a quiet family dinner. 

Tonight is also the gallery opening at The Smithy, which I must attend to support the hard work of my friends Danielle and Amanda, and say peace to my "Night Sky" digital art work. (For all those interested its sale price is $200). It will be the last time I see it for awhile and with any luck it will sell and I can donate the money to "Kristin's Graduate Fund." 

Tomorrow, I have to pick Hanna up from college so that I can spend time with her before leaving. Tomorrow there will also very a very small family gathering so I can see my Dad's side of the family with all my little second cousins. The rain will certainly put a damper on things, but I suppose I must get used to the rain. 

Saturday, we hope to leave for Albany around noon and I will spend the next three days chilling with my other family and getting mentally prepared for my massive flight coming on Monday. 

THIS IS ALL COMING SO FAST. 

It is really unbelievable how quick this summer flew by, I really do not remember the summer at all. A handful of times on the boat, and in the pool. A few more than a handful of times on my kayak. I suppose I worked the summer away, and I suppose I do have a lot to show for all my work with the replacing of items that needed to be done before I left - for example: suitcases. Not to mention the organizing, applying, and continuing to finagle all the details of this whole graduate school, thing.

With all that being said, I would appreciate at least two more hot days. Two days were I can sit in the sun and just read - but those days are numbered now. As soon as I get to England, I will have too much to worry about to want to sit around an read - like: finding a place to live, getting my schedule organized, opening a bank account, getting to log onto student space so I can see my timetables and everything else. 

Countdown: 4ish days.

xx, Kristin

ONE WEEK

Dear London,

We are down to the last week at home.

In one week - at the moment I started writing this post - my plane will be gearing for take off. And, while it's first stop is limited from Albany, NY to Boston, MA - it is still the beginning. So, it is easy to say that everything is dwindling to an end. Goodbyes have begun - though not forever - and packing is taking precedent from other daily rituals. 

It is appropriate that this week should be so wet and gray. 

I believe comfort is coming from the changes in my other friend's lives who have also spent the last year and a half in good ol'Cooperstown. Kaylan is now settling in New York City for her own graduate program at Columbia Teacher's College. She is as nervous as I am about being a postgraduate student. Eric has found an apartment in Brooklyn where he can start his ambitions in the city. It seems that we are all falling into our personal goals. It is a nice achievement.

For Kingston, I am down to organizing dates. It seemed from a moment of confusion over the weekend and this morning, I am unable to attend the seminar on being a postgraduate student - an international postgraduate student. It seems important right? But unfortunately the only thing I can do at this point is shrug my shoulders and sigh. It is no surprise to me that yet another struggle would arise in the 12th hour. If they do not have room for everyone to attend, it must not be exceptionally important. If it is, I will bribe my friends to take good notes with a nice cup of coffee - or tea. 

In other Kingston News: The publishing half of my master's degree has been filling me with much information about courses, reading lists, and an all day event on September 22 to introduce me to the program. Though, I will not be purchasing any texts until my loans come in on October 3rd - which will be a scary time with the loans coming out of my very empty home bank account. I guess this will be a good time to see if the library has those texts that I can glance over so I do not fall behind. 

The creative writing side of my master's degree has been relatively silent. The email where I was told to read Rebecca  - which everyone should know I LOVE - was the first and last email I received from them. Period. I sent them an email yesterday asking about the lack of incoming instructions, whether I am not on a mailing list I should be on, or if they just have not gotten around to sending out their emails. So far, I haven't heard anything yet from that email either. In response, I have settled into my new adapted personality. I have shrugged and sighed and will be patient - waiting for them to take their time, and tell me what I need to know. It seems that I am not the only facing silence from their faculty either - which is oddly uplifting. 

I am still without an apartment, though Stacey has found another good option which she shared this morning. It seems that we will have to provide some furniture - dislike - but the rent is super cheap - like - and it is both really close to campus - like - and Philippa - like. Of course, we still have to get there to take a good look inside, as the website has no interior pictures - suspicious. 

For banking - which is something I need to solve quickly once in the UK - I have decided to go with Lloyds. They have a classic plan, which has the simple things I need like holding my loan money and a debit card. A few things I must consider in banking is how to get funds from my English account to my American account so I can continue to pay my student / car loans while abroad. I hope this will not be another struggle, but really - I have to do, what I have to do. 

Saying good-bye is getting harder and harder. Obviously it is not forever, but for some it will be awhile. I think that with each bon voyage reality is coming more into focus - but hey, it is only one year. And, with luck I will be coming home for Christmas - I just have to save my pennys! This week is very busy with trying to see friends before Friday - when I will be having a dinner with family before traveling to Albany to say good bye to my more family.

I am sure this week will go fast. 

This day already went exceptionally fast. 

xx, kristin

PS: Word on the street is that some of you are struggling to comment on my posts. I have posted instructions on the process, and if you follow them closely you should find all your questions answered. If not, send me an email and I will see how to help. Click here to reach the instructions : How To - Comment. Note: if you reply to the email that is sent to your telling you I have posted, I will not see that. 

PPS: If people are asking for a link to my blog please feel free to forward the email I sent before, or just share this URL - http://kristinandlondontaketwo.blogspot.com/ - I do not mind. When putting together that email, I was not sure who would want to read this, and I was missing many email addresses of family members who may want to keep in touch.  Also - I'm shy - haha. 

Countdown Continues

Dear London,

I wish I had more exciting things to say than I am focused on packing, and that I hope I can fit all my shoes in one small suitcase, but the days are numbered. Now that my visa is done, loans are finalized, courses are signed up for, plane tickets are purchased, enrollment step one is completed, and Rebecca has been started, I have nothing left but to pack while that countdown to run outs.

Once in England my list is not so big - find a flat, find a bank, enrollment step 2, organize courses and, most importantly, remember how to cook. After my summer of accomplishments and busy work, this will be nothing - fingers crossed.

For the moment, I am left staring at two open suitcases with neatly piled clothes, a backpack and purse waiting patiently for their own undecided contents, and a laundry basket full of 'stuff' that must somehow be fit into my luggage.


The limit is 50lbs per suitcase. 


The challenge is packing for a year. 


Any advice?

Kochanie the last time I packed up for England, 2009 - BOY could I use her now!

xx, Kristin


PS: if anyone wants to play with spacebags and help me pack, just let me know when I can expect you - I've got hot coca!!