What Now?

Dear London,

If anyone actually reads this blog they are going to think I need to get checked for bi-polar disorder. My mood and stress levels are so connected to this process of becoming an international student. I should probably chill out, but I cannot let go because I am so afraid that the moment I let loose it will come crashing down around me and - dream over.

I never wanted to be the person so affected by money, but that is who I am becoming. I cannot have or be what I want without it, and therefor its importance has been realized. Now, I am faced with finding a good chunk of dollars with little time and little savings. Why? I have to pay for a plane ticket and 4-6 weeks of rent without the support of my loans that I took out to support my graduate school and living expenses... WHAT?

Without thinking of what will happen if I cannot find the money, I am continuing to fight against the waves crashing into me. Right now I am searching for the way, using my bank as a pretty huge resource. There is the option of taking out a loan and / or there is the option of increasing my credit card maximum amount. The only catch is that I have to convince my manager to sign a paper saying how much I get weekly, which is now on tomorrow's growing to-do-list.

Tomorrow: I also have to finish my Visa application, and wait to hear from Patrick with my huge list of questions about disbursement. We will see how my mood will be by 8:30am and hope it turns out well. I am also having a skype date with Stacey and Ruth tomorrow night, which will be good to sort out housing and when to land in London.

I did receive a lot of help from my parents today, which I am really grateful for. Hopefully, everything will be worked out from their help today. It was really refreshing to not have everything be on me and my shoulders.

Wales: 2009, Photographer: Kristin Bergene

xx, kristin